STRANGLE MAN WIDDA MICROPHONE LEAD

It's amazing how much joy that anger can bring about!!!!

BUN ALL GRIME HATERS!!!!!

TEEEEEEMPZ!!!!!!!

PARRIN THE PAR

If you know a chick that loves you and has no self-respect and your boyin it and shes still lovin you SHE'S PARRIN THE PAR.



JUST THOUGHT I'D LET U KNOW

What Does Everybody Want?!

Went to watch live wrestling the other day and before I continue, it was indeed bollocks. However, this was about seeing a hero of my early school days - AL SNOW. The whole experience died on me pretty early seen as we got to see Al straight away - HE WAS SELLING HIS OWN MERCHANDISE. I can safely say I never want to pay any other hero £5 again, it just ruins the whole hero thing. Also, being in front of Vito (another ex-famous wrestler) in the queue for a pint was pretty gay.

Anyway, I'll quickly sum up the highlights of the night:

- There was blood in the tag team match

- I told one wrestler when he was getting counted out next to us he was a "fucking pussy" he turned around looked for an insult but then said "nice hat mate"....these punks don't want it with me!

- Al Snows Theme Music, which safely makes the playlist in my next disco jockey outing.

- In the queue one bloke asked me if I was "here to see Spud" (brum wrestling champion). I turned around, had to laugh, then told him "I'm not actually in to this shit mate"

-Shaking Al Snows hand, I've not washed it since.

Money for Teeth

I'd like to explain what I mean, but I have a fucking tootache and can't even write why I'm motivated to work at Louis Vouitton on this fucking application form. Instead you can just read this conversation with Lukey.

Luke

oioi

1:16pmTimothy

oioi

u at uni

i need to go to the childrens hospital

/dentist

1:17pmLuke

at home ill as fuck, whats up?

oh ur teeth unlucky

1:17pmTimothy

toothache which is hurting my whole face

1:17pmLuke

go to the dentist

it'll cost SHITLOADs

but its gotta be done

iv had that before, its such an extreme pain, gutted

1:18pmTimothy

what u mean shitloads

i have a 5er in my pocket

where is it free

1:18pmLuke

cant get it free

1:18pmTimothy

WHAT

1:18pmLuke

not if ur over 18

1:18pmTimothy

ah for fucks sake

1:18pmLuke

think u can apply for something or other

when i had mine done in freshers i was lucky cos i was still 18 but it woulda cost 80 squid

1:19pmTimothy

ah for fucks sake

im just gonna have to take them out myself

fuck it their wobbly already

then admit myself to a & e

which IS free

or is it?

1:20pmLuke

gimme a sec

i'm googling it for u

1:20pmTimothy

thank you

1:24pmTimothy

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/82503/Man-driven-mad-by-toothache-stabs-girlfriend

1:24pmLuke

u can get it for free but you'll need to complete a form

1:24pmTimothy

where

1:25pmLuke

can get it from the dentist

1:26pmTimothy

thanks man

whats the matter with u anyway

1:27pmLuke

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/health/help_with_health_costs.htm#helpwithhealthcostsifyouareonalowincome

just fucked up, on and off flu/cough/headaches/fever/cold etc

sneezing blood this morn

1:28pmTimothy

HAHAHAHA

thats horrific

you some kind of monster

1:30pmLuke

possibly

get my msg bout al snow?

1:30pmTimothy

HEAD

i saw it at uni yesterday

we gotta go

VIP

ringside seats

1:31pmLuke

20 quid though

making a head banner

1:31pmTimothy

its fine its fine

1:31pmLuke

we should get really drunk

1:31pmTimothy

course

i think 20 quid is worth it

we might get to touch him!

1:31pmLuke

it is but i dont have it to spare yet

get in when i get paid

then ringside with a head banner

1:32pmTimothy

ill wear one

1:32pmLuke

its uk vs rest of the world...im cheering al snow

all the way through we gotta chant we want head

1:32pmTimothy

we should run in from outside and double clothesline the uk wrestler

WE WANT HEAD

1:33pmLuke

it was the best thing i heard in weeks when i read that

so excited

should try and get a photo with him

1:33pmTimothy

u up for the clothesline

APA

APA mate

1:34pmLuke

yeh mate

1:34pmTimothy

football is bare turning into wrestling

i call sky sports news wrestling

TIF

In our world of sex, lies, and personal tracking devices girls are fast becoming the extended family of pigs (police for all you police lovers). Anyway, as a young N.W.A you may hear me often say 'fuck tha police' and I will live by that whether they happen to be party girls or old fat men.

'Diary of a Fab Black Woman' sounds like the last place you'd find some wisdom to throw on this state of affairs but luckily, it's only Alison and she always throws her wisdom everywhere.

So she threw it on the virtues of the insecure female. All you nutcases who think a N.W.A is some kind of well endowed child that you must look after, champion to your friends and have sex with at the same time will find a glossary of mental issues and how to remedy them in this bush of a blog. Don't beat around it. Just click the fucking link.

I'm now inspired to post about the insecure man which always comes after the insecure woman(jeremy kyle's wifebeaters prove this every morning). If you actually have the self worth and keep of a strong woman then you may soon find your man wide awake on fb chat at 4 in the morning wanking and cursing about you at the same time whilst you stumble in happy, drunk and most importantly, innocent. It's not your fault, it's rather the fact that your too handsome for your man. I pose the same kinda question as Ali - do you want to raise kids with a man who thinks your better than him?

I say friendship brings the balance to the whole thing. Contrary to popular belief I think if there's no friendship there's little to fall back on.

Look out for the 'insecure bocat yout dem' post soon...i feel a night out will give me the proper inspiration.

Kiss My Arsh

I seem to be the only one who thinks now that Arshy is here everthing will be okay. In my eyes we have an amazing squad now.

I think our squad is better than Liverpool and Chelsea and definitely Villa's, but we're just not showing it. This is half down to constant injury and the fact BBC and most other sports publications see column inches and newspaper sales in the demise of our great club and will put pressure on every single match we play, which we haven't handled.

Our defence is awesome

Sagna/Eboue----- Toure/Djourou------ Gallas/Nordveit----- Clichy/Gibbs

Our midfield is fucking dangerous

Walcott/Arshavin----- Fabregas/Wilshere/Ramsey---- Denilson/Song/Diaby---- Nasri/Rosicky

And our firepower is perfect

RVP/Vela-----Adebayor/Eduardo

An unbeaten season is round the corner.

Lauryn...

Had one of those random musical cravings when I rediscovered the 'Miseducation ofLauryn Hill' a few days back. Tough music. Like facebooks hideous but charming '25 things about myself' craze, its a rare and truthful portrayal of someone; a ganja smokin fist totin graduate and part time singer with a guitar and bare shakesperean dillemas plus genuine passion and little care for controversy... and that's why technical ability doesn't always guarantee the music is great work. I heard that's becos any half-decent musician with a mildly interesting idea who's also bold enough to project the fantasy part of their mind into their music...breath...is probably earning the respect and dollar of gobbymouthed scenesters e.g minimal tech(noise) morons. Boldness is what keeps music alive and ever changing and Lauryn xemplified it; she was brave, sexy and intelligent but most importantly she was a young BLACK female. At that specific time, white women had Sinead O' Connor and Madonna and black girls had Mel B and Whitney. Thanks to Hill and some of the women that came with her...especially Erykah, all women of strength can find some understanding in music. Though some of these girls may listen to Beyonce and Katy Perry - half of what they can or cannot say is down to definitive acts like these.

Talking of girl power, i used to think only a girl could ring me at 4 in the morning and I would answer it - but the hustle does brings its perks. I now also confess to bringing out the Teedra Moses album to put a soundtrack to the whole hustle. I'm also gonna kop the christine bec ting...its emotional.


P.S Happy Birthday to Talented OSULA!

Moh Wah Talented.

G.O.A.T

GOAT is coming.

All it is yeah is pure breddas and chicks messing up the dancefloor to the rhythm of the most emotional hip hop beats you can find between 10 - 3 on a friday night. If we're cheating on Mrs Hop we're most likely playin her with Ms Blues, Ms Grime or a true African lady at 140bpm. Apart from that there's open mic battles, showcase vocal and mc freestyles, good dranks offers and unstrained access to well grown ganja.

For a measly 5 quid your allowed to come...with the invitation of course.

We are the GOAT.

Snow Music

Normally when it snows, I'm listening to gay xmas music eating stuffing. Not today. Today, I am kicking back with that good food listenin to some of my favourite beats

J Dilla- 'Bullshit'
Onyx - 'Last Dayz'
EPMD - 'Please Listen To My Demo'
J Dilla - 'Tainted Love'
Havoc - 'Fully Loaded Clip'`
Alchemist - 'Hold You Down'
Alchemist - 'Keys To The City'
Young Gunz - 'No Better Love'

Good.

Fucked

Eat pizza. Accordingly to NATALI it makes you happy.

Hey Baby...

I'm not ashamed to say that when I speak to the missus or anyone im trying to bone my voice may take a natural but unusual change yeh.

BUT...

There is shame in one form of vocal crassness. High - pitched change. What's with men that go high pitched! if anything go lower man. Phil from eastenders is amazing at it, and he is a real life domestic violence victim. Even he knows.

I like to call it wocal - woman vocal

Was in the pub with Thomas who is great at wocal which disgusts me. But it sounds so much worse in the pub. When your talking football and backing Guinness you don't want to hear wocal.However, he is forgiven through incessant pork scratching consumation like I have never seen -even if they're of unbranded North West of England variety. Foul, but manworthy.

N.W.A ...

...As Dr Dre and his homeys from the 90's would have it definetely stands for Niggas With Attitude.

KINDA WRONG THERE

N.W.A should stand for Nana's With Attitude. Let me explain.

Today, an amazing thing happened. As usual there were delinquents and extremely big babies blasting the mcdonalds toy quality 'dubz' from the mobile. Ms Nana may have lost some hearing ability, but there was no doubt in her ears that this was just plain naughty.

Anyway, just as the performance was wrapping up and the audience could breath relief - the little crettin came out for an encore, encore?!. What's with young people and our unneccesary need for encores e.g Be Your Own Pet gig. It was one of those bassline riddims loike. Not sound with Ms Nana.

Ms Nana slowly got up, walked in the crowd of shitbricks and mayfair smoke, and demanded an definite end to the show. Of course, that's never enough - which must be why just before her request, she'd only delivered an almighty slap to one of the youths...a real grandmas slap, straight to the point (cheek). This boy's face was red with embarassment but also winter-slap pain. A truly artistic moment man.

If I was undeservedly listened to by millions and trillions like you know who (race hate is different from general dislike gaspers) I would say this...

"I have a daydream. That all people can take inspiration from Ms Nana and slap the bassline out of these 'children'. I daydream that a new slap phenomenon can reach our mobile phones and sick minds. I daydream it be named 'depressing slap'. Strictly for not-always-law-abiding but mostly non-depressing beings. It can start off slow - get the ones who aren't even gangsta first. Sorry middle-class-working-class-pretender, this means you are first."

Wherever you are Ms Nana, I know I told you already...but I love you!

Right Said Fred

On a positive note, met this breh called Fred today who kindly used his business school privileges to let me in to do some work.

I hate university, but you can't help but love first years - they get to go out every day of the week, spend a grand a term (sometimes more), live with all their mates and still pass all their exams without the slightest indication of the aforementioned lifestyle on the end of year transcript.

Some of the things Fred said and did was a blast from the past. Phrases like "snooze ya lose" and daily activities like hotboxing those small dorms!

Ahhhh

I Know, I Know Yep...

"Yeah you too" (Pharrell Williams of N*E*R*D, 2007)

met this bitch called jeremy the other night who was in the promotion game. this man was frail man...bare frail. The problem with the promo game is there's too many dead people. Some dead man walking shit .
Majority of jeremy's don't make cheddar, which is all too ironic seen as jeremy is of extra cheesy variety. Jeremy like most jezzers, was blind and needed the cane. i was lean up and powerful in thought. To succeed in this game you have to remember its all business and never personal. Keepin your personal ego from the business helps not only to be good at business but avoids the situation where everyone you know and meet thinks your an asshole (which is also bad for money).

Anyway mama never raised no hater and the funny thing about Jezzer is he hated on himself all night. Talentless promoters give off the strongest impression of cool because they aren't. So when they ain't impressin you they doubt themselves just as harshly which can lead to some outrageous statements. Anyway the only thing left to say is that it was a funny evening and im glad my man Ph!l!p a.k.a Fat Joe a.k.a diss your coolest friend deaded another poser from my city!

Anyway.

In brum city we're starting a new night called gin and juzz and its gonna be fire. We'll be the only student hip hop party in town and we'll be ready for any competition too. It's too bad there's nothing like this where every race is invited, you got open mics, open dexxx, and producer battles. It doesn't mean we're ignoring the party! The party won't be short of ideas either - and if people remember what we were trying to do on the alt scene they'll remember that if people feel that you feel your ideas, a lot more fun is had.

Back to university business.

What's Beef?

The way it is in south eass
breys look for beef
if it so appears ones been eating
hence, one must be ready to feed every single day.
Happy new year 2009 will be a feast.

Month of Madness

ironic. free + beans. black prez? black feds negro

I have always liked Freeway.

His music though, has always been clouded by the business surrounding it and of course, when he was slain by Cassidy.

Anyhow his new SICK concept mixtape just dropped. It's called 'Month of Madness' ...accordingly packed with 31 tracks of december cold flows. Everyone check out day 26 feat James Blunt. Hottest shit I heard in 09'.

If you plug it, send it on and tell that person it's free. Rappers with morality must be recognised.